EMPOWER YOURSELF....SET BOUNDARIES...

Note to self Never give up on me

The most important commitment you can make in your life is to love, respect and appreciate YOURSELF. 


I hear many women BLAME men for hurting, using and mistreating them. Men do it as well..Yes it may be true. Maybe they were liars, cheaters, abusers or lazy men, but here we learn to accept responsible for OUR part in the relationship. OWN our stuff. Be accountable for OUR actions and behavior. That is what makes us MATURE, because Maturity it is NOT a number, it is a state of mind.
I was with a man for 10 years. In the beginning he was like most men are, Mr Wonderful. Handsome, beautiful smile and great with my daughters. Within 6 months I knew he was a liar. The signs were all there. But I chose to ignore them. I chose to make excuses for the bad behavior.
The ball was now in MY court. I had control of the relationship, but like most, I made excuses for his behavior. Why the hell do we do this? Actually it doesn't matter. What matters is now we now we do not have to do anymore. We can make changes in our thoughts and behavior so we do not continue the cycle of self abuse. Yes that what it is Abuse.
Now we can EMPOWER ourselves. We take responsibility by NOT BLAMING HIM...We take accountability of what we allowed to happen in that relationship.
There were so many signs, his behavior never changed. I kept forgiving but things never changed. I kept telling myself he loved me enough to change, but in reality that is not a valid reason. A person has to chage for themselves not another person. It has to come from within themselves.
That is what made me...ME not him responsible for all those wasted years. You see I cant blame him for those years wasted, I can only blame me. I accepted it, I allowed the behavior.
I kept letting things go until I decided enough was enough. I owned what I let go on in my life. I had to look at ME. It is not his fault what I let continue...
When I let it go on and on, it was not a mistake any longer it was a choice..it was a way of life..it was my decision...I own it...When we let things go on THAT is a choice WE made..we can't blame others...
They have to own their behavior, but we accepted it..That is why I never hated him..I can't..
It was me that allowed it..Accepted it.. so I own it.. So I own that, it was I that accepted it..
So I dealt with it and moved on..I wished him no harm or ill will.

I am free of those problems. I am free of hate. I move forward and worked on me and why I ..
I..allowed it to go on so long...Cause it was ME that stayed there.
That ladies is empowerment..That is how you take BACK your life..Never focus on THEM....Focus on YOU..Don't BLAME you..Just look at what you did and how will you do things differently.
Cause if you do things the same way...You get the same results. Looking at what YOU Allowed a person to do and why is not finding fault in you..It is finding a solution so you don't make the same mistake.
It is clearing the path to a whole new you. It allows you to breathe easier with no hate. It allows you to take the focus off someone when it really isn't their fault anyway.
Reality is you are the only one in charge of your world. You know that now. Now you have the power to move forward. Baby steps..But you have the tools. Happiness is within your reach....Your decision on what you do with it....
Hurts to heal....But it can be done. The first step is to look at US...Stop blaming someone else. Fact is we ARE the only ones that control OUR world !
It is HARD to look at YOU..But ladies it is not finding fault or placing blame..it is simply finding solutions to a problem...Changing what went wrong and correcting it. Happiness is within your reach
Why waste time on someone bad men when there are good men out there?

This one is HARD..really hard..You have to look at YOU....but THAT is EMPOWERING..THAT is taking control of YOUR world !!!!!